Archive of published writing:


McSWEENEY’s

»  The Push Poll: A Life Approach 
»  Isiah Thomas, Life Coach
»  Happy Mother’s Day!
 »  Mel Gibson’s Rehabilitation Counselor at “Promises” Reviews Her Notes From Yesterday’s Group Session
» Alternative InSPOT E-Cards to Anonymously Inform Partners That They Might Have Been Exposed to an STD
» Thanks For The Intervention
» A Wedding Toast by Katie Holmes’s Former Best Friend
» Refreshingly Candid, Yet Admittedly Less Traditional, Pet Notes That My Neighborhood Animal-Adoption Center Would Probably Find to Be More Effective: A Comparison
» Responses in an Interview for a Nanny Position That Will Almost Certainly Sink Your Chances 
» Strategic Attempts to Deflect Attention by the Most Obviously Overweight Member of the Donner Party
» Re: Hardy Boys Manuscript Submission [Reprinted in The McSweeney’s Joke Book of Book Jokes]

YANKEE POT ROAST

» “Yes on Proposition 8” Gets the Message Out 

THE HUFFINGTON POST

» A Handy Guide To Olympic Ice Dancing
» The Make-Another-Wish Foundation
» Sexiest Man Alive, the Quiz!
» Yes on Proposition 8 Gets the Message Out
» Face the Mirror, McCain
» Entourage: Season 5 Spoiler Alert!
» Revelations in Scott McClellan’s Memoirs
» If The Democratic Primary Were a Movie, Hillary Would Be…The Sequel!
» If the Democratic Primary Were a Movie, Hillary Would Be:
» Cry On, Sister!
» GOP Candidate Missed Connections
» Bush to America: How You Doin’?

THE MORNING NEWS


» Namibia’s Tourism Minister Sends a Plea to Britney Spears



» Virginity Pledge 2.0

USA TODAY WEEKEND

» Reality Checks
» Getting Testy on the Road
» Still Classics 25 Years Later
» Got a cure? I’m there!
Snowboard Cross
» Crazy 4-wheeeeeeeeee!l drivers
» An interview with Andy Samberg
» Attention!
»No Longer Hip
» How to Get Out the Vote
» The 300 Millionth American is Coming!
» First I’d Like To Thank…
» A Great Excuse To Party

THE BIG JEWEL

» Donald Rumsfeld, Bored And Unable To Get Other Work, Takes A Job As A Teen Advice Columnist
» Memo To Thunder, Golden State Warriors’ Mascot, Re: The Upcoming Second Half Of The 2006-2007 Season

» FOX Network’s Weekly Explanation of Paula Abdul’s Increasingly Erratic Behavior

» Tom and Katie Exchange Vows

» An Executive Producer’s Notes to Rosie O’Donnell Regarding Her First Month on The View

MONKEYBICYCLE

» My Organ Donor Card: Annotated

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER – CHANNEL SERF

» January 26, 2007
» January 5, 2007

» December 29, 2006

» December 15, 2006

» November 17, 2006

» November 3, 2006

» October 20, 2006

» October 6, 2006

» September 22, 2006

» August 25, 2006

» August 18, 2006